What's the Impact?

 

Unless someone has had to endure chronic illness either with themselves or a loved one, I don't think they can fully understand the impact.  It is a wave of emotions and circumstances well beyond anyone's control.  The impact is felt from an emotional level to a physical level.  It doesn't really matter if you are caring for an ailing adult parent or if you have a chronically ill child.  I, unfortunately, have both.  I have seen the impact from both ends.  The worry is indescribable.  The dread is certain. 

 

My heart literally skips a beat every time I hear my phone ring.  It is something so simple but I often think of the day and time when my heart will not jump when it rings.  I look with caution at where the call is coming from.  The familiar numbers of my parent's home or my son's school always make me hesitant.  I sigh and take a deep breath before I answer the call.  Usually it is minor but there is always that "what if" phone call.

 

Every night that I can actually lay down in my bed to sleep it is a blessing.  It is something that I close my eyes and say a silent prayer of thanks for the opportunity.  This is one of the selfish things that is missed the most while spending endless nights at the hospital.  The accomodations are as comfortable as they can be for a hospital but this is not saying much.  Hospitals are not designed for comfort in all aspects. They are designed with a purpose of healing.  That certainly takes the top spot in my book.

 

It's little things like this that I didn't expect when I was thrushed into the arena of the ill.  It's the little things that most take for granted on a daily basis.  Ten years ago I would have just assumed that I would always sleep in my own bed unless it was by chance that we were on a vacation.  Those days are short lived.  Don't take for granted the little things.  Stop and smell the proverbial rose.  You will miss the act when it's not there.